Thursday, September 16, 2010

So be it.

After my post about Parker's first day in preschool and how smooth it went, the whole situation headed South and proved to be a challenge for both of us. The second day, Parker got in trouble for "touching people" as the teacher put it. I doubt it was as innocent as it sounds. I mean, if he was just placing his hand on peoples' shoulders to pray for them or give them a little hug, I doubt there would have been an adverse reaction from the other children and teacher towards Parker.

After the third day, David and I realized just how hard of time he was truly having obeying other authorities other than the two of us. So, for a few reasons, we decided to submerge him a little more in the pre-school scene hoping it would help him adapt to his new environment a little better. I called the director and she agreed it would be good to have him go three days a week instead of two.

 The next time he went, Parker's end of the day behavior report from the teacher was much improved, however the morning drop-off couldn't have been more dramatic. My independent kid who has never had any anxiety about leaving me, started crying and saying how he didn't want me to leave and that he really needed me. Eye yi yi. The next few school days went like this, but he was always happy and excited to see me at the end of the day with positive things to say about school.  Finally, on Monday of this week, he ran to see his teacher with no apprehension when I dropped him off at school.

I thought everything was going to be smooth from that point on...not so much. When I picked him up, I was handed a plastic bad with a note on top explaining how I need to work with Parker about going poo in the potty. Really? He hasn't had an accident since Christmas when he was potty trained. Apparently he has issues with the restroom there at the school and decided to try to hold it. When he wasn't able, the result was disgusting.

You want to know what has been the hardest thing about all of this for me? My hurt pride. It was embarrassing to be told about my kid's issues. I really thought I'd get complemented on his funny whit or his intelligence, not reprimanded for his disobedience and lack of self-control. However, the staff at Parker's preschool has been really great and I have to realize they don't know me from Joe Shmoe down the street. They haven't witnessed my efforts to discipline and potty train, so I shouldn't be offended at a note asking my to do a better job with both. It doesn't really matter that Parker knows his 50 states or that he's already mastered the alphabet, the teachers want a well-behaved child who respects authority. I know that he is a really good kid who is simply struggling with a new transition in life. After some prayer and self-reflecting, I've decided that I will ignore my pride and allow myself to be humbled.

The truth is, Parker is a good boy. He is generally obedient, but he is also a 3 year old little boy. I will take responsibility for his misbehavior and work diligently to train him to respect authority better. I will tackle these minor trials as they come and quit being so worried about justifying myself and my child. Who knew preschool would be such a journey for us? Things look as though they are on the up swing. Parker is regaining his confidence and I am learning to be a better mother. If getting my pride hurt is what it takes to get to this point, then so be it.

(Here's a little peek at a near future post. The adorable baby Lincoln came to stay with me at my house, and he even brought his momma. Such a great weekend!)


Anonymous said...

I know you're an awesome Mom, bcs Heidi tells me a lot about her visits with you and always brags on what a great Mom you are, so don't let these little issues cause you any concerns on that front. My personal opinion on Parker's behavior: 3 year olds don't belong in a structured classroom setting. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't let Parker be in pre-school, but I think what people expect of them in these settings just doesn't match the reality of where they are at and what their behavior should be. But that's just my 2 cents. Loved the pics of your boys and Linc.

Eric and Emily said...

Hi Steph- wow- I guess each stage of parenting is a whole new ball game.. I am glad I have you to forge the way! I really appreciate your honesty. It is really hard to admit pride and the things that you really feel. Thanks for doing that. Parker's biggest strengths seem also be his weaknesses. I guess that is how it always is though. You and David seem like an awesome team and I bet this is making yalls relationship stronger. Lincoln is getting cuter and cuter by the day! glad yall had a good visit! love you! em

Lauren said...

Stephanie, you are an incredible Mom. And just wanted you to know that today!!!

Heidi said...

Parker is an amazing kid. He's witty and intelligent just like his Auntie Heidi. Ok. Just kidding. But he is pretty amazing. You're doing a great job with him.